(no subject)

[alt_gredforge]

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good

We have several important observations to make about the Lord Protector. Yes, that Lord Protector:

The Supreme Governor of the Council of British Rule
Patron of the Pure
Sovereign of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Wand and Rose
Grand Sorcerer
Paramount Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot
and proud holder of the Order of Merlin, Crystal Star
(they had to make a special level above First Class just for Him, you know. They don't do that for just anybody!)

or as we also like to call Him,

Marvellous Marvolo the Magnificent Malcontent
Lord Pustule
King of the Swill
His Fartulance

We think it is extremely important that everyone knows that this rather famous individual:
wears girls frilly knickers and sleeps with a fluffy Teddy Bear named Clarence,
that he cries at thunderstorms,
that he is scared of little bunny rabbits,
that his wand core is a dragon turd,
that he picks bogies from his nose and eats them,
that he can't find his own arse without a compass
AND
that he needs a regiment of his adoring followers to wipe his bum every day.

And in case we haven't made it perfectly clear:

His Excellency, the Lord Protector, is a stupid PONCE!!!!

Thank you for your attention to this VERY IMPORTANT public service announcement!