What do you suppose the gargoyle would say to me if I asked to sign? It might be amusing to attempt it, though that would require being able to step out of the ward for more than a moment or two together.

I do wish Lockhart would get on with teaching this duelling business so our young people were not left to create their own, wholly ungoverned occasions for challenging one another. He's awoken their enthusiasm and has failed utterly to channel that energy into an educational programme; instead, he's wound them up and set them loose. My admittance records look as though we've had a week of April Fools, and I've seen no stemming of the tide this morning, despite yesterday's attempt by the Head Boy at using violent retribution as a deterrent.