Attention Students

[alt_poppy]

Today the Office of Underage Wizard Protection provided me with a series of informational pamphlets on a number of topics that might be of interest or use to some of you.

These materials have been sorted into the following ten categories:

Safety Awareness
School Safety
Physical Safety
Abuse Avoidance
Getting Help
Personal Hygiene
Good Behaviour
Conflict Resolution
Growing Up
Peace of Mind

If any of these subjects seems especially relevant to you, please do not hesitate to visit me.

Finally, I'm asked to tell you the following: 'the Ministry accord your safety and health the highest priority and have delegated to the Office of Underage Wizard Protection this mission of greatest seriousness, pitch and moment. UWP are working tirelessly to make Our Lord's realm a safe and wholesome place for you as you mature into the successful young witches and wizards you are meant to become'.

Comments

Order Only

[alt_poppy]

You'd think that an office calling itself Underage Wizard Protection would not break the quarantine on this school to deliver an enormous parcel of possibly contaminated pamphlets on such topics as tooth cleaning, body odour, and 'How Far Is Too Far? (Places No Tongue Should Go)'.

On top of which, they had the audacity to insist that I include their ridiculous mission statement verbatim at the conclusion of my remarks.

I've spent all evening scourgifying these documents, sorting them, and finding room in my cupboards to store them so they can grow dusty with age as they sit there unrequested.

[alt_sinistra]

I got a rather energetic owl message from the same office, asking me to do my best to encourage students to read them as part of the announcements during the upcoming YPL meeting.

Are you free for tea any time in the next few days? I suppose I should look through them and see what might be particularly applicable. I'd also like your advice on a few matters: the return of owl post naturally means that we're now looking again at plans for the summer.