Grim Truth 21/5/93
May. 21st, 2010 12:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alt_sirius posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
alternityGreetings, British Wizarding World!
It’s been a long time since you heard from me, I know. In the interim, I hear that the papers have been full of my supposed exploits, nearly none of them anything for which I would wish to claim credit. You’ve also been inundated with information about the recent discovery that Nigel Cullenden was, and always has been, none other than yours truly.
So you might think I’m too busy running from Ministry Enforcers to come back to writing these entries. I can’t deny I’m disappointed that I have had to leave my home and a life that was, all things considered, rather successful, because the Lord Pretender’s assassins got lucky. But I can weather that, I assure you.
However, the reasons I have not written – or not written more often – have precious little to do with the very recent lively events outside your borders, in which I became a more direct target of the Protectorate. There are two reasons I have been silent, both of which are now, I believe, no longer relevant.
The first is that the epidemic your officials have dubbed after my family name rather eloquently spoke for itself. The Ministry fell over themselves declaring that my supporters had somehow infiltrated the camps, poisoned the water and somehow further mutated the disease to infect both halfbloods and later purebloods. First they denied the disease’s existence altogether. Next, they admitted the disease was real but denied any danger to those with ‘true magical heritage.’ Then, when that didn’t protect them, they tried to keep the cases of halfblood sickness quiet by quarantining the cases in a secret, locked ward at St Mungo’s. They even obfuscated the bloodline of a pureblood wizard – Xenophilius Lovegood – in order to maintain that the illness could not affect anyone with sufficiently potent magical blood. But that didn’t work for long, either (though the aftermath of that lie has continued to impact his surviving daughter’s life negatively). All the while, the Ministry knew that the real cause of the disease was the tampering of one of their own Unspeakables. Eventually, they had to reveal enough information that the Healers at St Mungo’s were able to craft a vaccine, but not before countless lives were lost or otherwise brought to harm by their arrogance and cowardice.
Apart from a few moments along the way, it seemed clear to me that the truth was speaking loudly enough for all to hear, and needed no comment from me.
The second reason, I’m ashamed to say, was both more personal, and more important to me. It had to do with the retaliations that followed any of these discussions. I have reason to believe that each atrocity was committed by the same culprit, though not by his own choice. I gather from yesterday's Prophet article that somone's going to suggest pretty soon that he was insane. But I swear to you he had no history of mental illness to my knowledge. I believe that he was pressured, possibly forced, to torture, to maim, to desecrate, to mutilate and to murder in order to associate my words and the Black name with deeds most of us find abhorrent. Ironically, the deeds were correctly attributed to the House of Black. They just pinned them on the wrong brother.
For a while, I thought that if I kept quiet for his sake, it would provide him some protection. Still, I failed – on both counts. First I failed to keep my silence at times when I could not sit idly while the public health risk raged on, or when the Ministry continued its muggle hunt and implicated men and women with no active part in this struggle. Moreover, my silence failed to shield him in any way from being used at the hands of his keepers, from being directed to destroy himself piecemeal. From chipping away at his soul.
The bright side, if one can see it that way, is that their tactic had limits. Eventually, the moment had to come when his ‘usefulness’ ran out and he would be discarded.
I believe that day came recently. I believe that we have witnessed the ultimate lesson of loyalty to the Dark Lord: Not ‘Serve or Die,’ but ‘Serve and Die.’
I don’t know whether the Grim Truth is that he was killed by Voldemort’s hand, or simply at his command. I don’t know, and may never know, whether he finally made his stand, refused to act on his instructions, and paid that price, or whether he was simply deemed too broken and therefore no longer worth keeping. I don’t even, in all honesty, know for sure that he’s dead. It's just possible that this could be an elabourate ruse. It could be designed to bring me out (in which case, I'm playing into their hands by writing this), or it could be a story they're telling us all to cover for themselves in case he actually did come to his senses and ran, like they claim, and found a way to go back into hiding. If so, then they've enlisted a large cast of players in the charade.
But I feel certain that Walburga Black’s demise was no mere tragic coincidence, and further that the woman who bore us would not be dead if her youngest son were still alive.
I also know that I have two fewer reasons to keep silent.
It’s been a long time since you heard from me, I know. In the interim, I hear that the papers have been full of my supposed exploits, nearly none of them anything for which I would wish to claim credit. You’ve also been inundated with information about the recent discovery that Nigel Cullenden was, and always has been, none other than yours truly.
So you might think I’m too busy running from Ministry Enforcers to come back to writing these entries. I can’t deny I’m disappointed that I have had to leave my home and a life that was, all things considered, rather successful, because the Lord Pretender’s assassins got lucky. But I can weather that, I assure you.
However, the reasons I have not written – or not written more often – have precious little to do with the very recent lively events outside your borders, in which I became a more direct target of the Protectorate. There are two reasons I have been silent, both of which are now, I believe, no longer relevant.
The first is that the epidemic your officials have dubbed after my family name rather eloquently spoke for itself. The Ministry fell over themselves declaring that my supporters had somehow infiltrated the camps, poisoned the water and somehow further mutated the disease to infect both halfbloods and later purebloods. First they denied the disease’s existence altogether. Next, they admitted the disease was real but denied any danger to those with ‘true magical heritage.’ Then, when that didn’t protect them, they tried to keep the cases of halfblood sickness quiet by quarantining the cases in a secret, locked ward at St Mungo’s. They even obfuscated the bloodline of a pureblood wizard – Xenophilius Lovegood – in order to maintain that the illness could not affect anyone with sufficiently potent magical blood. But that didn’t work for long, either (though the aftermath of that lie has continued to impact his surviving daughter’s life negatively). All the while, the Ministry knew that the real cause of the disease was the tampering of one of their own Unspeakables. Eventually, they had to reveal enough information that the Healers at St Mungo’s were able to craft a vaccine, but not before countless lives were lost or otherwise brought to harm by their arrogance and cowardice.
Apart from a few moments along the way, it seemed clear to me that the truth was speaking loudly enough for all to hear, and needed no comment from me.
The second reason, I’m ashamed to say, was both more personal, and more important to me. It had to do with the retaliations that followed any of these discussions. I have reason to believe that each atrocity was committed by the same culprit, though not by his own choice. I gather from yesterday's Prophet article that somone's going to suggest pretty soon that he was insane. But I swear to you he had no history of mental illness to my knowledge. I believe that he was pressured, possibly forced, to torture, to maim, to desecrate, to mutilate and to murder in order to associate my words and the Black name with deeds most of us find abhorrent. Ironically, the deeds were correctly attributed to the House of Black. They just pinned them on the wrong brother.
For a while, I thought that if I kept quiet for his sake, it would provide him some protection. Still, I failed – on both counts. First I failed to keep my silence at times when I could not sit idly while the public health risk raged on, or when the Ministry continued its muggle hunt and implicated men and women with no active part in this struggle. Moreover, my silence failed to shield him in any way from being used at the hands of his keepers, from being directed to destroy himself piecemeal. From chipping away at his soul.
The bright side, if one can see it that way, is that their tactic had limits. Eventually, the moment had to come when his ‘usefulness’ ran out and he would be discarded.
I believe that day came recently. I believe that we have witnessed the ultimate lesson of loyalty to the Dark Lord: Not ‘Serve or Die,’ but ‘Serve and Die.’
I don’t know whether the Grim Truth is that he was killed by Voldemort’s hand, or simply at his command. I don’t know, and may never know, whether he finally made his stand, refused to act on his instructions, and paid that price, or whether he was simply deemed too broken and therefore no longer worth keeping. I don’t even, in all honesty, know for sure that he’s dead. It's just possible that this could be an elabourate ruse. It could be designed to bring me out (in which case, I'm playing into their hands by writing this), or it could be a story they're telling us all to cover for themselves in case he actually did come to his senses and ran, like they claim, and found a way to go back into hiding. If so, then they've enlisted a large cast of players in the charade.
But I feel certain that Walburga Black’s demise was no mere tragic coincidence, and further that the woman who bore us would not be dead if her youngest son were still alive.
I also know that I have two fewer reasons to keep silent.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-21 03:14 pm (UTC)Kindly name the time and place and we will be more than happy to reunite you with your lost relations.
Otherwise, show a shred of respect for your departed by refraining to further sully them with your wild accusations, inaccurate supposition and feigned concern and interest in a family with whom you no longer have the right to associate.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-21 04:01 pm (UTC)We're both orphans now. The odd thing about being an orphan that I had never quite realised before is that when you're an orphan sometimes you find out that way for the first time who is truly kind.
Sometimes that's not all bad. If that helps.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-21 04:29 pm (UTC)I realise that your upbringing lacked both discipline and proper guidance, but your situation has changed. Perhaps your father never minded whether you made a spectacle of yourself, but now you have a foster family concerned with your welfare and you owe them better. I will not allow you to bring the Browns to shame by consorting with this traitor.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-21 04:37 pm (UTC)I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good
Date: 2010-05-21 04:45 pm (UTC)(Sally-Anne, this is where you could chime in to say maybe she should have been a Gryffindor.)
Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good
Date: 2010-05-21 04:56 pm (UTC)If it took losing her father to realise that Sandoval's not truly kind, though, she wasn't paying much attention.
Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good
Date: 2010-05-21 05:03 pm (UTC)Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good
Date: 2010-05-21 05:07 pm (UTC)Everyone knows you lot think of scars as a fashion accessory!
Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good
Date: 2010-05-21 05:10 pm (UTC)It's better than sparkly hair clips. Or those daft robe pet thingers.
Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good
Date: 2010-05-21 05:19 pm (UTC)It's more fun to shop for a robe pet than it is to GET a scar, though.
Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good
Date: 2010-05-21 05:07 pm (UTC)Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good
Date: 2010-05-21 05:09 pm (UTC)But sometimes it suits her to let people think she isn't.
Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good
Date: 2010-05-21 05:21 pm (UTC)Re: I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good
Date: 2010-05-21 05:36 pm (UTC)Order Only
Date: 2010-05-21 04:48 pm (UTC)Perhaps Xeno and I taught her to think a little too independently. At least just enough to interfere with her sense of self-preservation.
Do be careful how you answer her, Sirius, please. If you do. At this point, I don't quite dare to comment to her openly myself.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-21 04:49 pm (UTC)Ten points from Ravenclaw.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-21 05:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-21 05:12 pm (UTC)You may have the journal back when I believe you've learned how to conduct yourself respectfully.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-21 04:57 pm (UTC)Yes, you are an orphan. And that is entirely regrettable. But while that may be a point of factual similarity between you and Black, that is merely coincidence. Do not make the mistake of thinking or even implying that this means you must have a bond of sympathy with him. It is dangerous and reckless to suggest it.
no subject
Date: 2010-05-21 04:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-21 04:47 pm (UTC)You make me ill.
ORDER ONLY
Date: 2010-05-21 05:45 pm (UTC)